


Let's Kill Tonight

by sheithfromvoltron (theeShadyLady)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Assassins & Hitmen, Angst, Assassination, Attempted Murder, Blood Loss, Doctor Shiro but he doesn't have a real medical license, Hurt Keith (Voltron), M/M, Major Character Injury, Minor Character Death, Misunderstandings, Partner Betrayal, Pre-Relationship, Protective Shiro (Voltron), Reminiscing, Reunions, Tumblr Roleplay, Witness Protection, alternate universe - mafia-type organization, keith was abandoned, sentimental shiro, with exnorate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 13:27:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13249173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theeShadyLady/pseuds/sheithfromvoltron
Summary: “May your feet serve you well and the rest be sent to Hellwhere they always have belonged, cold hearts brew colder songs”Five years. Five years since Shiro last saw Keith. Five years since the last dregs of pure adrenaline ran through his veins. Five years of pretending that he hadn't made his first kill when he was eleven and hadn't stopped until the day that everything else did.But in the grand scheme of things, five years really isn't that long and old habits die hard.((Co-Written withExnorateas Keith))





	1. Chapter 1

**sheithfromvoltron:**

_“May your feet serve you well and the rest be sent to Hell_  
 where they always have belonged, cold hearts brew colder songs”

* * *

Shiro unlocked his apartment door, threw his keys on the counter, and leaned against the fridge. It’d been a long day at the clinic and he was ready to be done. But something felt off and it made him look around.

He checked the bathroom, the living room, and then his bedroom, but found nothing. He shook his head, he was always on edge around this time of year. He’d switched jobs five years ago and though that was what lead to this, it wasn’t the reason for it.

The reason was his partner, ex-partner. They’d worked together for years and it had worn on them; they got to close, it was a danger to both of them. And Shiro was the one to call it quits, leaving him behind to be a surgeon (well, that’s what he decided after a year of bouncing around from job to job).

He wanted to help people, not hurt them. Not anymore. He still had enough of his contacts that it wasn’t hard to get university records forged claiming he’d graduated medical school. And he knew more than enough about how bodies worked (and things that killed) to know every way  _not_  to kill someone. 

Walking back into the kitchen, he scoffed, opening the fridge. “Hey, Keit—” He slammed the door shut, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

 

**exnorate:**

Shirogane was a legend. He’d been the best of the best of them among the Veil, with one of the highest kill counts in the organization’s shadowy history. When he’d gone down in a hail of bullets, with only a fraction of him left for discovery, they’d all mourned. But then they’d moved on. All of them except, for one. Keith had been Shiro’s partner that faithful mission. He’d been his partner for a long time. Just another kid who’d been sold into the system, remade and rebuilt by forces far stronger than he thought he could ever be.

Like a dog with a bone, Keith hadn’t been able to let Shiro go. For too long, he chased a dead man, bulldozing through every obstacle like a madman, spitting in the face of everyone who’d told him he was fighting for a lost cause. It almost destroyed him. Because at the end of the day, Shiro was gone. Keith learned to accept that that didn’t change, even if Shiro was still breathing.

He never wanted to be here, in Shiro’s polished, empty kitchen, in a home that screamed of the mundane and vulnerable. Keith didn’t think he could recognize the man who lived here. Until he caught Shiro by surprise, and that spark danced behind his eyes.

“Surprised?” He asked, holding himself carefully, like the shadows could keep Shiro from seeing too much. His side throbbed. All things considered, that was probably a good thing. “You never thought any of us would catch up?”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

“No, I always figured  _you_  would…” a slow smile spread across his lips, “just didn’t think it’d take this long.” He turned his back, knowing if Keith was here to kill him, one of them would already be dead. Reopening the fridge, he pulled out two beers, popped both open, and set one on the counter.

“So are you gonna keep hiding or are you gonna get get up here and let me fix you?” He didn’t like this, didn’t like Keith in his house. He didn’t like the judgement in his ex-partner’s eyes. Didn’t like him dredging up the past and feelings he’d thought long buried. He turned away again, assuming Keith would take the latter option and pulled his backup med bag out of the bottom drawer.

 

**exnorate:**

Keith didn’t move an inch, the corners of his mouth turning down in a vicious sneer. “This is it?” He spat, voice laced with accusations. “This is why you left? This shitty room and a shitty job. This made everything worth it?!”

His anger bled through, giving away far too much. It was sloppy, unprofessional. Everything Keith normally wasn’t. Shiro had always been a special case. Shiro had always forced him to push harder.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

_I couldn’t watch you destroy yourself._  That was the reason, but he’d never voiced it. Keith had gotten reckless worrying more about him then the mission or even himself; though Keith had never really cared all that much about himself.

“Are you here to kill me, Keith?” he stared back at eyes that raged like the sea and set his beer down, “because if you are  _just_  do it now. I’m not gonna fight you.”

 

**exnorate:**

That calm, easy acceptance burned like a fire through Keith. There was once a time when that even temperament had made Shiro seem unflappable, the pinnacle of what they could be, but then, Keith had thought Shiro could do no wrong. Even after he’d turned traitor, that sick sense of calm remained. It was as if nothing could touch Shiro, or worse, like he didn’t think Keith could go through with it.

Years of regret and disappointment came crashing down around him as his vision swam, dark spots biting into his sight. 

Keith wanted to tell Shiro that he never wanted to be here, that he wasn’t the stupid kid he left behind, that he no longer thought Shiro walked on water. He wanted to tell Shiro that Shiro was a failure and an embarrassment, and Keith’s gun was still steady but his bullets deserved better targets. Keith never got the chance. He was bleeding through the tourniquet he’d wrapped around his middle, the bullet wounds messy and ugly beneath his makeshift bandages and everything was so goddamn cold. 

He reached out, meaning to brace himself against the table, but it was too late. Keith was already falling, leaving a bloody handprint across the countertop.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**sheithfromvoltron:**

“Keith… Keith!” Shiro was over the counter in an instant, dropping down next to Keith. “You’re so damn stubborn,” he grumbled, picking the younger man up and laying him out on the counter.

It was as bad as he’d figured while assessing Keith from afar. “Hey,” he clapped his hand on Keith’s cheek a couple times until his eyes fluttered. “Don’t close your eyes. Don’t even take them off me, got it?” He dug in his bag pulling the 9mm out just to get it out of the way and then a bottle of peroxide and a pair of forceps.

A hand ran under Keith’s back after cutting the bandages and most of his bloodied shirt away. Two exit wounds. “You always were shit at cleaning yourself up,” he said, bracing a hand on Keith’s hip to keep him down while he dug the first bullet out.

Keith arched an awful groan coming from his throat. Shiro held him down harder, digging out the second. Four years as a surgeon, but being in the Veil from eleven to twenty two made habits that were hard to kill. “Last one, Keit—HEY!” Keith’s eyes were glazing over and he grabbed him by the jaw, forcing unfocused eyes to meet his.

“I did  _not_  leave you like that just to have you die like this, so  _stay awake_. The third bullet was out and rolling across the counter leaving bloody tracks on the white marble. Shiro splashed peroxide in the wound, and dug in the worst one, pinching a bleeding area closed.

He’d done pretty much all he could. Packing gauze over the wound before wrapping Keith’s stomach back up, he shook his head. After washing his hands and cleaning the counters, he removed the bullets from Keith’s gun and took the knife strapped at his ankle.

He carried the now unconscious man to the couch and throw a blanket over him, setting a bottle of water and some pain killers on the coffee table. He went to bed after that taking his own gun and Keith’s knife with him and putting Keith’s ammo in the bottom of his dresser.

 

**exnorate:**

Everything was hazy. Keith couldn’t match the bits and pieces of the previous night. It was like trying to grasp at smoke. The memories he could recall seemed to be painted in the broad strokes of an uneven brush, disjointed and overly simple. He remembered pain and far too much of it, the bitter taste of metal on the back of his tongue, the cold that settled over his skin like a blanket. The way Shiro called his name.

It was the unwelcome reminder of the past that forced him awake, slipping out of consciousness with a practiced jolt. When your life balanced on the tip of a knife, the privilege of waking slowly was one of the first to go.

His body immediately protested.

Keith choked on air, arrested by the way skin pulled around his middle and left agony coursing across his abdomen. Even though he tried to be careful, he still fell back into the couch like a pile of rocks. For a moment, everything felt like too much.

His gun was gone, and his last knife. He’d lived to see another day. There could only be one person responsible.

“You never did make anything easy.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Shiro was only on-call today, but he still woke up at five. Wandering into the kitchen, he could hear Keith’s raspy breath and knew he was at least alive which made some long forgotten part of him sigh. A couple minutes later and he was sitting at the foot of the couch with a bowl of cheerios, waiting for Keith to stir. And when he did it was a sight. A hiss as his eyes snapped open, on his feet before pain could register, then collapsing even faster.

“You’re kidding, right? Everything I did back then was to make things easier for you.” He pointed his spoon at the younger man, “I quit running just so you could catch up.” He set his bowl down next to his gun, which was on the table, a movement away from either of them and pointed at Keith, “But you’re still running; you’re still that same kid, chasing things you don’t even understand. You need to grow up before this kills you."

 

**exnorate:**

Keith could feel the blood drain from his face. After everything that happened, Shiro shouldn’t have been able to hurt him, not this easily. Five years and too much history had hidden old wounds, but they’d healed the wrong way, and there were cracks beneath the surface that could still swallow Keith whole. To have everything he’d fought for, everything he’d accomplished, to have it all dismissed by the only person he’d ever trusted - it stung as deeply as any bullet wound.

Keith sat up, more slowly this time. It hurt, but at least that still meant he was alive. “Where’s my gun?” He asked softly. He didn’t fight Shiro’s accusations. The fact that they existed meant this was already a lost cause. “This was a mistake.”

Going to Shiro was a mistake.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Shiro could see his words slam into Keith and as much as it hurt him, it was a good thing. It meant he still had some sway with him. He could try to help.

“It’s on the counter and the bullets are in my bedroom in the bottom of the dresser.” He knew bending over would be a struggle, as would walking all the way across the house, but Keith would probably manage. “Once you get them, you’re gonna tell me what happened.” 

He raised a brow, challenging him and ignoring the mistake comment. “I’ll wait.” A second later his eyes softened again, “You hungry? You can’t have much, but you should probably eat something.” Not waiting for an answer, he moved away to get some crackers from the cabinet, purposefully taking his time so he didn’t have to watch Keith try to stand.

 

**exnorate:**

“I don’t owe you anything.” Not his gratitude, and certainly not the truth. If Shiro thought he was just some little kid, fighting monsters that went bump in the night,  _I quit running so you could catch up_. That one stung deepest. Keith thought that, at least with Shiro,he’d finally found someone who thought he was good enough. Maybe he’d just been projecting all this time. Shiro had been one of the career kids, a member of the Veil for years before Keith had been brought in.

It gave Keith enough strength to stand. The pain returned tenfold, but Keith didn’t dare complain out loud. He took slow, measured steps, embarrassed by his speed but not enough that he would let himself sit down. He held his breath the entire time he shuffled to Shiro’s room, but when he as inside, he couldn’t stop himself from looking around, He was still trying to find the man he’d lost in the house of a stranger. Keith wondered if he’d known Shiro at all.

He considered disappearing there and then. The window was unlocked. An exit as much as the main door, and if he couldn’t manage climbing out of one, he was as good as doomed anyway, but Keith was wrong. He’d owed Shiro  _one_ thing. He had enough respect for him to keep that.

“The Veil is coming for me. There’s a chance they’ll track you down.” Keith said at the doorway. Then Shiro would lose… all this. Keith bitterly thought that was an improvement. But Shiro still had time to leave now. Keith didn’t cost him his life. This was goodbye.

He walked to the exit.

Keith’d never have come to Shiro if he’d had any choice. And now. Well Keith would just have to improvise.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Shiro knew Keith would consider the window; had even opened it when he got up to see if he would do it. (He knew he wouldn’t.)

His expression didn’t alter even a fraction at Keith’s  words.  _I thought you didn’t owe me anything?_  but he didn’t say that. “Keith!” his voice was a growl; annoyed that he’d just come here and mess everything up if he wasn’t gonna do anything. He caught up to his former partner in three easy strides, grabbing him by the wrist and pulling it behind his back, knowing full well how much it would hurt the still fresh wounds.

“That can’t be why you came here? They haven’t bothered me in years and just because you fucked something up wouldn’t make them think of me all of a sudden.”  _Not unless you’ve been running around all these years screaming my name like you did when I left…_  “And I know you didn’t just hunt me down in one day. So why. did. you. come here?”

 

**exnorate:**

Keith cried out, before grinding his teeth together, trying to swallow back the protest. He could feel heat suffusing across his face as his embarrassment grew, but pin pricks of pain continued to dig into his chest. His back bowed, as a cold sweat broke across his brow, and all it did was make him angry. 

“Because they’re hunting me! Do I have to spell it out for you?! I don’t know how far back they were. I don’t know how much time I have left, and if I lead them here, then you better fucking run let me go!” He spoke in one long exhale, slamming his heel down unto Shiro’s and spinning to twist out of his grasp. Everything spun dangerously, but even as the world threatened to slip out from under him, Keith held a fighting stance after he pushed away from his former partner.

“Is that what you wanted to here? Are you satisfied?” He snarled, heckles raised like a cornered animal.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

“Yeah, that’s what I was dying to hear, Keith. That you still got burned even after I tried to save you. Get out.” He took a step back before moving around Keith and grabbing his keys from where they still lay on the counter, returning to get his gun off the table, and went to his room.

Throwing open his closet, he pulled the already packed bag off the top shelf; not all proud that after all these years he still had shit ready to leave on a moments notice. He went in the dresser next, pausing at the open drawer; Keith’s bullets where still there and so was the picture he’d hidden there last night. It was a from one of those stupid polaroid cameras that he’d grabbed when they were leaving a mansion they’d been hired to hit.

He’d taken a lot of stupid pictures that day; pictures of the three dead guys on the floor, the chandelier Keith had shot down, a picture of the dog (which they’d let out of the house so someone would find it), and a bunch of other shit, though always making sure not to catch either of themselves in the photo. Each image had dropped to the floor without being touched, all except one.

One he hadn’t taken in the house, but in the car as they drove away. Keith was the one driving, laughing like an idiot talking about the guys faces when they had shown. Shiro had held the camera up when Keith leaned over making a face and sticking his tongue out and before he could pull away, he kissed Keith’s cheek just as the shutter snapped shut.

The camera was long gone, but the picture had travelled with him everywhere he went. Keith probably didn’t remember. He shook his head to get rid of the memory, shoving the image in his bag and climbing out his window to go in the back door of the garage.

Keith had barely made it to the end of the driveway when Shiro drove out. He stopped next to the injured man, his deathly pale skin and sweat matted hair only part of the reason. “Just get in the car, Keith.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**exnorate:**

That was a dismissal if Keith had ever heard one. It felt like Shiro had reached into his chest and torn out his heart, and after all this time, Keith still hadn’t been able to get it back, not completely, not in every way that mattered. He refused to look back, refused to let his aching side stop him, or the way his bandages pulled across his skin. He couldn’t afford to look towards the past. All that mattered was moving forward. Right now, Keith’s life depended on it.

He closed the door behind him with a soft click. He never should’ve opened it.

Shiro had been his last option, but Keith had earned his place in the Veil. He’d find a way out of the country. Then after that, find a way to disappear. His gun felt off. He checked to confirm what he already suspected. The cartridge was missing. Not even getting it was enough to risk another run in with Shiro. He felt beaten enough as it was.

He didn’t expect Shiro to cut him off. It shouldn’t have meant so much for Shiro to come back, but try as Keith might, he still cared too much.

He hesitated, but not as long as he should’ve before taking his seat. The silence stretched between them uncomfortably, before he dared ask, “What do you mean, you tried to save me?”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

He was thankful for the shattered silence, but not for the topic that was brought up. “Did it ever occur to you that what happened on the last mission was  _planned_? That everyone knew someone wasn’t coming back?” Waiting for the light to change, he couldn’t look at Keith, instead he trained his eyes on the SRT logo of his steering wheel. This wasn’t exactly the blending-in type of car. They’d have to pick up something else.

He shook his head. They’d been told that it would be a quick and dirty job. Take out the a low-end competitor who only kept two guards. But it got back to Shiro that their target was a protected witness and the real target was the flood of cops that would rush in when the shooting started.

The Veil was sending two people into a job that needed at least four, but should have had five. He knew it meant someone had found out how deep their partnership now ran and he wasn’t gonna let Keith die because he’d gotten too close. “That it wasn’t supposed to be  _me_  that got shot to shit.”

Despite how hard he was fighting it back, the night played back in vivid detail. His last minute switch, sending Keith to the roof to take the shot, leaving himself on the floor to make the deal. Dark warehouse (that alone was a dead giveaway). Shots from seven different directions all but one of those directions heading for him. A cement floor. Cold. Blinding pain and thick blood. But somehow he’d survived, one of the detectives offering him a deal for cooperation. And he complied, only so he could bend all stories away from Keith.

His teeth were gritted and his eyes blurred; he wasn’t supposed to act like this.  _If you don’t feel, you won’t fear,_  his eleven year old self had been told that since day one when he’d stumbled into the abandoned warehouse looking for something to do. Within a year he’d done a lot more than kill time.

 

**exnorate:**

“ _No…_ ” Keith rasped, so soft it was as if he couldn’t help himself. Already he refused to believe Shiro, struck by the impossibility of it all. He’d watched them drag away the corpse of his best friend, falling apart at the seams, with nothing but dumb shock and instinct holding him together. He’d been inconsolable afterwards, demanding the chance to see Shiro from anyone who’d listen. 

He’d never been able to say goodbye.

It had sparked an obsession, the desperate certainty that Shiro lived on somewhere, too hurt and too weak to come back. Keith pushed himself harder, driven by sick fascination to reach as far as he could. That way there would be no one to stop him from finding Shiro. Yet as the years passed, and every lead lead him to another dead end, Keith started looking for a corpse - only to be proved wrong. Then betrayal seemed like the only option.

“Why!?” He snapped, a thread of panic leaving his voice strangled raw. “That makes no sense! I was loyal! I was always loyal! You were the  _best_  they’d ever had. Why would they let that happen?!”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

He didn’t make any move to respond until they were out of town and even then he pulled over before he answered. “Because they thought soon I’d start giving  _you_  priority over missions. They thought I would get weak because of you and they wanted to stop it. They thought it best to only have one of us and they chose me. You were their acceptable loss.”

He had to stop; he’d break if he kept talking, but he couldn’t. Keith deserved to know everything. “But they were too late because if one of us had to go… I’d  _never_ let it be you.” His nails dug into the leather of the steering wheel trying to force word out while holding everything else back. “You had potential and I knew they’d leave you alone once I was gone. Without me there to hold you back you could easily become the best… even better than me. And so I went against orders.”

 


	4. Chapter 4

**exnorate:**

Keith hadn’t been ready. They’d lapsed into silence as the world fell away, the city giving way to quiet suburbs. He thought it was a lost cause, certain Shiro would refuse to answer him further. There was one person who really knew how to catch him off-guard.

Keith listened, but everything he heard only made him angrier. His heart twisted in his chest, racing so quickly he was sure it would shatter. 

“Then you should have let me take the hit! I’m expendable!” Keith snarled. The proof was written in his skin, carved open by friendly fire. It never should have come to this. “They took you away in a body bag!”

His voice wavered and broke. Keith couldn’t meet Shiro’s eyes any more than he could stop. “I thought I lost you.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Shiro didn’t know what to do. He didn’t think he’d ever see Keith again and now seeing him like this had his reality distorting. This was a life he was never supposed to get back; one with Keith in it. And now hearing him call himself expendable had him wishing he had been dead when the zipped him in that awful black bag, if only to never hear such words come from Keith’s lips.

“No,” he growled back with equal intensity, “either way I’d be dead. If they had taken you I would have died; I’d have killed myself. You are  _not_  expendable;  _not to me._  I chose this because at least this way one of us lived.”

He still didn’t know how he made it out alive, seventeen bullets had pierced his body yet some how three surgeons managed to drag him through it all. And he hated himself everyday for it. His life felt like a betrayal to Keith, but by the time he was out of protective custody and relocated it had been over a year and he didn’t think a visit from a deadman was what Keith needed anymore.

 

**exnorate:**

“If that was true, you would’ve come back.”

It was too much. Everything was crashing around his ears, and Keith couldn’t find a way out. He’d thought he could face this, but the wounds felt too raw, too sharp. Keith had had five years to heal, and it felt like no time had passed at all. Panic and horror lapped at his heels, just waiting for one opening, just one, to flood in and tear him apart. 

It had been almost two years ago that he’d tracked down a young pilot with incredible skill, the sort of skills that made people think he’d been born with wings. Back then, Keith thought he’d looked  _happy_. It had been one heart break too many. He told himself that was the last time he would care about Takashi Shirogane. Now the sentiment just felt hollow.

He looked away, willing away the heat that pooled behind his eyes. Keith couldn’t tell himself it was just because of his wounds. “I need my ammo back. And you need to disappear again.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

_I wanted to come back. I wanted to come get you… but just because I hadn’t moved on didn’t mean you hadn’t and it I could drag you back into that._ He’d wanted to say that; that and so many other things, but he didn’t. Instead he reached in the back for his bag, setting it on Keith’s knees. “Ammo’s in that one,” he nudged the front pocket. “You’re knife is too.”

He turned the his key, but the second the engine purred to life he remembered something. Snatching the bag back from Keith, he pulled the picture out of that same pocket and tucked it and threw it in the center compartment, slamming the lid closed.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, realizing that was probably pretty weird, but he didn’t think Keith would want to see that. “So, uh, I guess we’re headed to the bus station since you don’t have any IDs on you?”

 

**exnorate:**

“What the  _Hell_?” Keith snapped, troubled by something else entirely but eager to have any reason to latch out. He should have been thinking about what happened next. There was too much to worry about. His normal resource paths had been blocked, and Keith was forced to second-guess all of his finances. He thought he’d been careful, but there was too much of a risk that the Veil knew more than he thought they did. The severity of situation continued to creep up on him, but all he could think about was how close Shiro was. And how the past didn’t feel so far away.

Shiro looked good. Keith couldn’t help but notice, but it was undeniable. There was a sense of confidence around him that was no longer haunted by the constant burn of adrenaline. He carried himself with surety. He looked… whole. 

“What about you? Where do you go from here?” He asked softly, and kicked himself for it. It was probably better not to know. Keith clenched his fist. “You don’t have to answer that.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

“You said you wanted me to disappear, right? So if that’s what you want, that’s what I’ll do.” He dropped the bag back in Keith’s lap and pulled back onto the road. “When we get to the station, I’ll buy our tickets, redo your bandages, and that… that’ll be it I guess.”

The next few minutes were silent, the air filled with words left unsaid or maybe words that shouldn’t have been said. And Shiro was about to add a few more. “I wanted to come back for you, y’know? But I was scared. By the time everything had died down, I’d been dead for a year and I… I figured you’d have moved on. I didn’t want to see that.”

His hands were shaking on the wheel and honestly what he really wanted to do was take Keith’s hand, but he’d lost that right years ago. “I see now that that was selfish and I’m sorry. I should’ve done a better job saving you. I fucked up, Keith. And I don’t… I don’t know who I am anymore.” 

 

**exnorate:**

“Nothing good comes out of looking back.” Keith said, far softer than he meant to, and he couldn’t say who he was trying to convince more. Too many missed chances danced just out reach, slowing down just enough that Keith thought he could catch them if he tried hard enough, like all that separated now and then was a leap of fate.

He looked at Shiro and saw too much of his best friend, the man he would’ve given his life for in a heartbeat. He’d loved Shiro then, and he’d never found the courage to say so. Back then, it didn’t seem to matter because Keith thought the only way he’d be without Shiro was if he was gunned down. Funny how all that worked out. Funny like a bullet to the brain.

“I don’t know who you are either.” Keith whispered, his hands flat on his lap. He let the chance slip through his fingers. His Shiro was dead. This one just… just did a really good job of dredging up the past. “But the Shiro I knew was the only one who ever had my back. The only person who ever really mattered.”

Dammit. Damn this all to Hell. “You have nothing to do with the Veil now. I’ll handle it.”

Keith was done chasing a ghost. “Just… just stay alive.” He swallowed thickly, exhaling all in a rush. “At least that hasn’t changed. You still blame yourself for too much.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

He’d opened his mouth to say he’d still had his back; that he’d take another seventeen bullets for him— _hell,_  he’d take a hundred if it meant Keith was spared even an ounce of pain. But instead he simply nodded.  _What had he expected?_ _For Keith to say he wanted him to stay? That he’d ask him to come with him?_ No, he knew better. Keith had been  _fine_  on his own and bringing him with would only complicate that; he was better left in the past where he belonged.

“You, too,” he whispered in quiet reply to being told to stay alive, but the second part wasn’t true. He didn’t blame himself nearly enough. He shouldn’t be able to live with the guilt of leaving; of living the lie that was his new life. None of it meant anything because he was alone; he still was alone now that he was being told to leave. But he wouldn’t fight it, if that’s what Keith wanted, he wouldn’t argue.

The bus station had only been another fifteen minutes away, but with neither of them willing to fill the silence, it felt a lot longer. Pulling into the parking lot across the street, Shirp finally turned to Keith. “You can take one of my hoodies out of there. …so no one sees if you start bleeding through your bandages before I change them. And…”

Shiro toyed with keys for a second before taking his wallet and the picture out of the center compartment, stuffing them in his jacket pocket, keeping a his hand there like he was afraid the items would disappear. “Where… where are you gonna go? …so I can get your ticket?”

 

**exnorate:**

It was painfully easy to remember a time before all this, a time when Keith knew it was safe to lick his wounds because his partner would watch his back, a time where a burden shared became a burden halfed because Shiro would never let him face it alone. Keith had become a better agent in Shiro’s absence. The price of survival was experience, and he was better now than he had been that terrible night when he’d lost it all. But Keith thought he could have become just as good if he’d never lost his best friend. Probably faster.

He was drowsing before he realized it. Being hunted for so long was taking his toll on him. Escape was a marathon not a sprint, and if he fell apart in the first hurdle, he’d never get his chance at a second wind.

Shiro’s question made him tense. His first instinct was to lie, but then, Shiro knew this game. Even if he got on the right bus, it was never a guarantee that he would reach his destination. He couldn’t let himself be so predictable.

“The biggest city.” Keith said. Predictable, but he needed an international port. “Shiro… thank you. It’s probably safer if I don’t know where you are.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

“One way to Reno, got it.” He was out of the car and to the other side before Keith had even pushed the door completely open. “Come on, I’ll walk you to the bathroom and you can wait there while I get our tickets.”

He put an arm around Keith once he was upright, ignoring his former partner’s claims that he was fine.  _Always so damn stubborn_. Keith was cold, not deathly like last night, but it was a noticeable chill; his skin was too pale; his steps to slow; and his eyes barely open. The idea of leaving him again tore away at his insides and left him raw. And having him this close again, even in this condition, had him thinking far too much about the past.

When he let go of Keith it was reluctantly. “I’ll be back in a couple minutes.“ Shiro yanked his jacket off in a single move and draped it over the other man’s shoulders, “And take this, you need to get warm.” He risked pulling the hood up and brushing Keith’s sweat-dampened bangs out of the way. “Just stay here, okay?” he worded it like an option, but said it like a command. 

 

**exnorate:**

Shiro pulled away, and Keith couldn’t stop himself from following him, just a little, just enough that he knew he was going to miss him when this was all over. Just enough for him to face that this was already done.

Shiro’s hoodie was a welcomed source of warmth, and Keith had to stop himself from curling into it, already holding the soft fabric as close to himself as he could. As his former partner turned to leave, he reached out, catching him by the right hand. Keith felt metal beneath his fingertips, the hard lines of Shiro’s prosthetic, and his heart twisted in its cage. They never really had a chance.

“Shiro. Thank you. You were the best friend I ever had. The best man I ever knew.”

One last time for the road. Once Keith got his tickets, he would disappear. It was unsafe to linger after an exchange had been made, they both knew that. Once upon a time, he’d told himself that it would be enough, just to see Shiro one last time, just to know that he was alive and well, that he could have a chance at happiness. Now Keith would have to do everything to make sure that was true.

_I’m sorry._

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Shiro wished it had been his other hand; wished he could’ve felt the brush of Keith’s fingers on his skin one last time. And when Keith let go his heart dropped and he couldn’t stop himself from turning back.

His good hand touching to Keith’s jaw and pressing his forehead against Keith’s when he looked down. “Just so you know, the only reason I quit running was because I was falling.” He left then, pulling away before he did something even dumber. Keith didn’t want anything to do with him anymore, so it was time that he force himself to get off his knees.

Thankfully since it was past rush hour the station wasn’t so crowded and Shiro could easily keep an eye on the bathroom door while he waited in line, making sure Keith didn’t try to leave.

“Yeah, Reno. One way,” he confirmed to the teller. “And I also need a ticket to Sacramento. Thanks,” he snatched the tickets and threw down a fifty and turned away, waving his hand when the woman called after him about change.

 

**exnorate:**

Keith tensed instinctively. Too much time and too much distance had washed away the easy camaraderie that he and Shiro once thrived on, back when living in each others’ space was as simple as breathing. All at once, Shiro was so impossibly close, and Keith’s heart dropped like a stone as he waited, waited-

It was over just as quickly, and everything left him in a shuddering exhale. Shiro’s name caught in the back of his throat, aching to be free, but all Keith did was watch him leave.

He never should’ve let Shiro out of his sight.

As Shiro walked away from the teller, someone stepped into place behind him. He could have been just another commuter in the busy station, except for the steady barrel of a gun that pressed against the side of Shiro’s flank, hidden behind a baggy jacket. “Easy there. Let’s not cause a scene,” the other man said softly. “Tell us where your friend is, and we’ll let you walk out of this in one piece.”

 


	5. Chapter 5

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Shiro’s eyes rolled, his heart not even picking up an extra beat. “Matt, right?” he recognized the voice; a two years older than Keith, but they’d been brought in around the same time. He’d always fought to stay better than Keith, but Shiro as sure Matt had lost that battle.

“Are you going to pretend you’re not threatening to kill one of your own? They used to be more subtle about these things.”

“You’re not one of us, Shiro.” Matt’s voice was a hiss; he’d never been starstruck by the tales whispered of the legend Shirogane. ..or at least that’s what he’d told himself every time the younger recruit had gotten called upon for missions all those years ago. But the truth was, he’d  _hated_  Shiro for favoring Keith; hated to the point of ravenous.

“Wasn’t talking about me, Matty,” Shiro recalled the old nickname Keith would slip in to watch him bristle. “There’s a reason he’s so much better than you.”

Matt pressed the gun harder against Shiro to get him moving forward. And Shiro easily complied, making a point to turn slightly away from the doors to the parking lot and shifting a glance that was as he walked to the bathroom.

“If he’s so much better, why is this the second time he’s had a hit out on him. But it doesn’t matter, you’ve lost your touch. I already  _know_ where he is. You’re just a washed-up nobody that isn’t even worth my bull—” he was cut off by Shiro grabbing his wrist and twisting the gun from his hand while in the middle of his boasting. A second later, they had switched positions and Matt was lead out towards Shiro’s car.

 

**exnorate:**

The assassin flustered, humiliated and for the first time worried. It wasn’t that he had a gun pressed against his side. Everyone in their line of work had been threatened a dozen times over before even entering the field. It was how easily and seamlessly Shiro had shifted the narrative around them, while Matt was still struggling to turn the page. “You won’t get away with this. Both of you will regret everything. I’m not alone-”

“Shut him up.”

Keith had Shiro’s hoodie up over his head, the ends of his hair messily poking out of its edges. He thought he looked like a homeless man, pale and breathing hard with a new stain on the elbow of Shiro’s jacket, but that just meant that people would be doing their best to avoid them. As they moved into the parking lot, he slapped his hand on the wheel housing of a random car, transferring one of the Veil’s GPS trackers to buy them some time. He was still shifting his weight when he walked because of his bullet wounds, but he had a new gun. He kind of liked it.

He barely cast Matt a glance, but when he looked towards Shiro, a sense of disappointed resignation crossed his features. When he’d first come to Shiro, his best case scenario had looked a lot like the one they were in right now, but Keith was just realizing how shitty it still was.

There was a softness in his tone, almost an apology. “We have to get moving.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Shiro popped the trunk, pressing his left knee into the back of Matt’s right and shoving him against the car. An elbow in his back and Matt’s arm pulled back so his knuckles touched his neck kept him immobile; not to mention earned an impressively dislocated shoulder that had him sucking air through gritted teeth. He’d had worse, they all had, but it was his anger that had him boiling over.

Shiro’s free hand pulled out the false bottom inside his trunk while Matt’s stayed pinned between him and the car.  _All this came back way too easily._ And so would the next things.

He pulled a duffel bag out, even more ashamed of what he still had packed in this bag from the few items the detectives managed to get back to him from his old house. He was still deciding what to do with Matt as he shut the trunk. He’d probably heard where Shiro buying the tickets so the couldn’t leave him behind, but they definitely weren’t bringing him with.

“I guess it might be okay to just let you g—” Shiro cupped his hands and clapped them against Matt’s ears which were answered with two simultaneous pops and a scream that barely made it from Matt’s throat before falling silent.  _Too easy. It shouldn’t be this easy to kill someone._

_He should feel **something**._ But honestly, all he was worried about was how much paler Keith looked from standing so long. 

He left Matt lying there, looking like he’d simply passed out against the car, as he opened one of the back doors and grabbed a pair of sunglasses. He threw them on Matt’s still form and lead him into the car, doing his best to make it seem like he wasn’t dragging a body before sliding him in the backseat. He went back for the blanket he kept in the back, draping that over the ‘sleeping’ passenger, and tilted him so that his head against the window.

Closing the door, he turned back to Keith. “Ready to go? We can just hop the next bus and plan from there?”

 

**exnorate:**

Keith watched Shiro work the same way he might have a new recruit, only to look away, quietly chagrined. There was no need for concern. Shiro was thorough and meticulous throughout. It was like he’d never lost his edge, and Keith wasn’t sure if he was okay about that or not. Part of him wanted to say something, to apologize. Keith could remember what it was like to be a civilian, but vaguely at best. He’d been older when he joined the Veil. It used to be easier to admit that a lot of his success had come from Shiro’s guidance.

“I got another ticket to Reno.” Keith said, and it didn’t need to be stated that he never walked up to the teller to do it. “If you want it.”

_We_. Shiro hadn’t hesitated in the slightest, and Keith couldn’t stop noticing. It could have been a mistake, a slip of the tongue. They were both running on muscle memory, and at least one of them was disoriented; at least Keith had blood loss as an excuse. He still couldn’t superimpose the past with the man who stood before him now, the man who could seem like a stranger in one breath and his closest friend in the next. Keith had a choice. This wasn’t a decision made out of desperation. They would both survive if they went in opposite directions.   

Yet he still chose Shiro.

He’d chosen Shiro every time, ever since he was too young to no better. He just wanted to make sure that Shiro was on the same page.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

“Yeah,” Shiro nodded, pulling  _three_  tickets out of his pocket; two of which had Reno printed in small letter letters across the front, “yeah, I think I’ll tag along.” He didn’t mention that the third ticket had only been for show or that he’d never even considered letting Keith do this alone.

“If you can hold out a little longer, I’ll rewrap you on the bus. Then, I assume an airport?” He tried to talk fast enough that Keith wouldn’t focus too much on his words and just agree without questions. “I’ve got enough cash that we can go wherever you think is best. I’ve still got out passports from that mission in France. I think there are few of your sweatshirts and things mixed in here with my clothes. So all in all, besides food, we should be set of a few days.”

The adrenaline was hitting him hard now and he realized how much he’d missed this. Not the bleeding and the killing, but the running; the planning; making sure to be five steps ahead of every possibility (or in this case five  _years_  ahead); that high that only came from knowing if you messed up it was all over. But when he finally took a second to  _look_  at Keith, he came crashing down again.

He slung the duffel bag over his shoulder and put and arm around Keith to hold him up. “Come on,” the bus will be here in a minute, “we can hang on until then. I’ve got you back, alright.” A statement, not a question, as he all but hauled Keith toward the bus station for the second time, making it to the curb just as a bus was pulling in.

 

**exnorate:**

_“How-”_  Keith cut himself off before he could lose much more. A rookie mistake. Don’t ask questions you could find the answers to. Shiro had given him everything he needed to piece together, but what Keith was seeing couldn’t possibly make sense. Shiro had a life to return to, a safe place in a world that could fall apart at the drop of a hat.

Shiro had already sacrificed so much for him, sacrifices Keith had never wanted and would never have asked for, and Keith wanted to hate him for it. He just didn’t know it would be this difficult to hate his best friend. He’d lost him once already.

Keith stopped Shiro at the entrance to the bus terminal. Behind him, he could hear one of the conductors calling for all passengers heading to Reno. It was going to be a busy bus trip. He squeezed his hand, looking far too honest despite knowing better. They were running out of time, and there was still a chance that Matt had managed to alert someone. It wasn’t like him, he was sloppy and eager for praise, taking down Keith ‘on his own,’ even with his partner, was far too tempting to waste by following protocol. But there was still a chance.

“If you fall, I’ll be there to catch you.”

He still had no right to ask for help, but Shiro was the only one who made him feel like he could be selfish. Of all the people who’d walked out of his life, Shiro was the only one who came back.

With one last nod, he started towards the bus, making sure to get a seat by a fire escape.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**sheithfromvoltron:**

With everything that had happened in the last twelve hours, nothing had managed to rattle Shiro until Keith’s last sentence.

_    ‘If you fall, I’ll be there to catch you.’ _

A hundred of responses flooded his brain, millions of things he’d wanted to tell Keith, but not a one left his sealed lips. He only nodded and followed, keeping a hand on Keith’s back as they boarded. He eased off the backpack that Keith still had hanging from his shoulder and started rummaging through it. “Drink,” he handed over a waterbottle, “now. And lean back, it’ll put less strain on your stomach.”

He waited patiently until Keith had emptied the entire container before continuing. “I’ll check you over once we get going.” He twined his fingers with Keith’s, again missing out on feeling him, but this was for Keith, not him. “Just close your eyes, okay? No one’s touching you while I’m here. And I’m not leaving you. Never again.”

 

**exnorate:**

Keith sank into his seat, giving away too much of his discomfort now that his burden had been eased. His muscles prickled with exertion. The fight had taken an embarrassing amount of energy, and even if the bus’s seat was bumpy and uneven, he melted against it like it was made of the finest silks.

Because Shiro was here. There was someone to watch his six. For the first time in a long time, it was someone he trusted.

He downed his water bottle and tucked it back into their backpack, eyes going to where their hands were linked. Something caught in his throat, and for the life of him, Keith couldn’t remember when this had felt so easy. Around them the world seemed to swim in and out of focus, the civilian crowd completely unaware of what was going on, even as a part of Keith’s mind still kept track of their arrival and appearance. 

“I don’t know how I did this without you.”

It was a confession he never meant to let go, born from a time he thought he’d never get back.

Keith drifted as the bus pulled out of the station, with one last glance at the bus’s deactivated security camera. Sometime before they left the city, he fell asleep. Not too long after that, he slumped against Shiro’s side, tucking his face into the crook of his shoulder like he’d never left.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Shiro knew simply being around each other again was a lot harder for Keith than it was for him. From his side of things he’d never stopped protecting Keith, but it was that he’d chosen to stay away for five years. He decided to let Keith sleep for a while. 

Every once in a while though, he’d get nervous and think he wasn’t breathing and couldn’t stop himself from checking the other man’s pulse. Once. Twice. Three. Four. Five… Until it was six times a minute and he had to wake Keith. 

But before he did that, Shiro slowly angled himself to shield Keith from view of the other passengers and carefully pulled up his shirt to assess the damage without Keith seeing his reaction. His eyes closed with a sigh, it wasn’t  _as bad_  as it could be. He’d bled through his bandages and stained his shirt but the jacket kept that fact hidden.

“Keith,” he lifted the shoulder that Keith was still leaning on, hoping he wouldn’t startle as much as he had this morning. “Hey, I need to clean you up. Keith, come on.”

 

**exnorate:**

Keith’s fingers twitched towards the barrel of his gun beore his eyes were fully open. Always alert, always careful. He’d learned that from Shiro, like too much else. He looked up, the feel of Shiro’s sleeve still prickling against his cheek, and there was a moment, over before anyone could blink, where he decided that he was in the company of someone safe, someone good. The tension bled out of him slowly.

He sank back into his chair, alert and aware, but weighed down with a laziness he so rarely let himself indulge in. He glanced over his shoulder, but it was ahalf-hearted effort. If Shiro said this was safe, then Keith believed it. He’d always trusted Shiro too quikly. Right now, he couldn’t bring himself to regret it.

He bunched up his shirt and Shiro’s warm hoodie, trying to give Shiro as much room as possible to maneuver before he scowled down at his belly. A twang of discomfort made him grunt. Then he scowled at himself. “I’ve seen worse,” he grumbled. With a small smile, his voice pitched low for only Shiro to hear, he added, “Remember Tahiti. When you crashed through that window.”

It had been one of their first missions together. Keith could count the times on one hand that he’d seen  _any partner_  injured, and it had never been so bad. He couldn’t remember everything, but he could remember saying anything and everything under the sun to keep Shiro awake as he patched him up. Up to and including singing Disney songs incorrectly.

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Shiro’s eyebrows pinched together, because he remembered. And yeah, it was bad. Though mostly he just remembered Keith and him saying it was  _okay_ , that it was  _fine_ , that he was an idiot. “I remember you telling me it wasn’t that bad. And I remember I was so damn scared and so tired, but you didn’t leave my side for … was it two days? I can’t remember.”

He paused to disinfect his hands and looked up at Keith, “This is gonna hurt, but you can take it.” Shiro pulled at the bandages, cutting the wraps away and quickly discarding the bloodied cloth into a plastic bag he’d set aside. “I hit my head so hard that day, all I really remember from that mission is the stuff you told me afterwards, but I remember  _that_.” 

Pausing again to examine the wounds, they didn’t seem to be getting worse, but they weren’t getting any better. “You can’t be walking so much otherwise these are never gonna heal.” Shiro ran I hand over Keith’s belly, heat was rolling off him and the skin was a clashing red against his partner’s pale skin.  _Infection._  But that was to be expected, he pulled out some antibiotics and another water bottle. “Take these.”

He still hadn’t removed his hand from Keith’s skin. He felt familiar, like nothing had changed, but really  _everything_  had. It took too much effort when he did finally pull away, forcing himself to keep going; to pack gauze against the wound; to reach around behind Keith as he pulled the new wraps tight. “Okay, you-you should,” his voice betrayed him sounding distant and breaking, “you should go back to sleep, it’s gonna be a long trip.”

 

**exnorate:**

“Two days.” Keith agreed with a lopsided smile. Two days and then some, all the time before that when he was certain that Shiro was going to die by his side. The mission called for radio silence, and he’d been terrified of what would happen to him if he returned without the Veil’s top agent at his side. And he wondered about what would happen to him if he lst the only mentor he ever really cared about.

Years later, Keith would look back at that moment and learn to fear how close he’d come to losing his best friend. It had seemed like such a bitter victory once he was alone.

A soft, aborted noise twisted past Keith’s lips, his stomach jumping at the first touch of medicine, and he inwardly berated himself before succumbing to the treatment. It stung. God it stung, and Shiro was the best sort of warmth. Keith was a little worried by how badly he needed it right now, and how difficult it was to keep steady.

“I remember I panicked every time you fell asleep.” Keith mumbled, letting the past distract him from the present. “I remembered doing the dumbest shit to try and keep you awake. Half the things I said didn’t make sense, but when you laughed it was… It was worth it.”

He fell back bonelessly when Shiro was done, wiping his brow where a cold sweat had broken out. His eyes fluttered shut, as if on their own volition, and sleep had no right to sound so good. “I should’ve known.” Keith whispered, already slipping away. “It’d take more than that to do you in.”

 

**sheithfromvoltron:**

Shiro wished he could remember everything, but those nights only came back in flashes and when they did it felt like his scars were being torn open again. That’s what he remembered most, the pain. Pain and bits of Keith’s voice that made the memories worth it.

“Yeah,” he agreed under his breath watching Keith’s eyes close, “a lot more.” As much as he wished he could pretend it still wasn’t the case, there was only one thing guaranteed to kill him. He’d though he’d gotten rid of that silver bullet when he got himself riddled with seventeen others, but last night had proved him wrong. Keith had never been safe and he’d been a fool for thinking so these last four years.

The next couple hours were spent running every passenger of the bus through his memory before cataloguing them in the back of his mind. He knew the first half was likely fruitless, the odds that the Veil was sending any of the old recruits after them were low. They had five years of fresh blood that they’d send out to search before calling in the actual hit.

Five minutes to Reno and Keith was still out cold. Shiro hated to admit that he  _may_  have also given Keith a sleeping pill, but he just wanted him to rest. And it wasn’t like the Veil didn’t take precautions against this, pumping antidotes and counteractive pills to prevent things like this. But it was worth a shot if it could give Keith even an extra few minutes of sleep.

“Keith,” Shiro started, “you’re going to have to wake up now. We’ll be there in two, we’ll go to the restroom first so you can change. Everything’s ready you just need to open your eyes.” It was likely he hadn’t heard the first few words, but this was the best way to wake him up.

Everyone in the Veil was trained to come out ready to swing the second they woke. But there was a way to avoid this; they’d also been drilled to wake up silently if there was a lot of conversation going on in the hopes that if they’d been knocked out or captured they could gather information before anyone knee they were awake.

“Alright, one minute, you don’t have to move, but you need to open your eyes, okay ba—bud?” A small slip, but he kept talking around it. “I know you’re awake. We’re fine, but it’s time to go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic/rp has been discontinued

**Author's Note:**

> find us on tumblr at [@exnorate](https://exnorate.tumblr.com) and [@sheithfromvoltron](https://sheithfromvoltron.tumblr.com).
> 
> i'm also on twitter at [@theeShadyLady](https://twitter.com/theeshadylady).
> 
> [ **sheithfromvoltron ko-fi** ](http://ko-fi.com/N4N86EW4)


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